I see now how easy it is to be swept up in a wave of fundamentalism. I have joined the ranks of an extremist army headed by the likes Anja Hindmarch, Prince Charles and Al Gore. The other day, I was walking along the mean streets of Hackney and I walked past a grotesque 4X4 Jeep. Immediately I felt my blood boil and I shouted ‘Cunt!’ at the gas-guzzling monstrosity.
I admit that I am an environmental fundamentalist. Where once my interest in environmentalism was satisfied by an episode of Captain Planet, I’ve now become more aggressive-about-being-green than the Incredible Hulk. I’m not faultless. I sometimes leave lights on at home, I have thrown some paper in the bin instead of recycling and I’ve taken much more than my fair share of flights. But despite these flaws, I feel rising anger at people who wantonly flaunt the green code.
If ever there was a new successful mass religion or belief system, Environmentalism is it. And its extremists, like Green Peace and Sea Shepherd (who recently accused a Japanese captain of shooting at them) are just the tip of the iceberg. I read this morning that Pope Benedict has just added seven new sins to the original seven and that ‘Not recycling’ happens to be one of them.
If this wave continues to gather momentum, we’ll have a tsumani on our hands. This time next year, even more extreme groups will appear preaching for true believers to reduce their carbon footprints by increasing their car-bomb footprint (in a Toyota Prius naturally).
They say that admitting that you have a problem is half the battle. Hopefully I’ll have the self-control to stop myself from keying the 4x4. Now, if only someone would give me a lid for my recycling bin so that my neighbours can’t witness the weekly clearing out of the embarrassingly large number of wine and spirit bottles from my flat.
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